Being AWESOME!!!

I have several people in my life that seek to draw attention to themselves with negativity. They talk about how hard their life is, how they have been wronged in the past, or abused, taken advantage of, multiple sicknesses, conditions, depression, etc. My brain does not understand that idea. Why do some people work so hard to put their “junk” out on the table for everyone to see, just for the sake of getting attention? I completely understand the idea of wanting attention. If you know me on facebook, then you know this to be true. But why use negative stuff to get that attention? Why not use your “awesomeness” to get attention? Why not display your talents to get the attention you are seeking? That’s what I do. I use my positive qualities to attract the attention to myself that I want. I usually use my qualities of being funny, good looking, or argumentative to draw attention to myself. I do not think this is a lack of humility at all. I am a very humble person, but I also have a high self-esteem. I don’t think I am arrogant because I never elevate myself higher than others. You will never hear me say that I am better looking than someone; just that I am good looking. You will never hear me say that I am funnier than someone; just that I am funny. I do find it fascinating, that several people accuse me of being egotistical or arrogant, simply because I have healthy self-worth. What has our society come to, when depression is the normal behavior, and someone with a positive self-esteem is considered arrogant?

I am unable to explain why I have a healthy outlook on life. Even as a child, I am not able to remember ever being “down” or feeling depressed. I remember several occasions where something bad happened, and I tried to make the most of it, or just move on from it.

One time in 7^th grade, our teacher played a game. We went around the room and made up nicknames for ourselves that rhymed with our names. John was “strong” John. Mary was “scary” Mary. Back in grade school, I went by Vic so the obvious nickname for me would be “Vic” followed by the slang term for male genitals. Obviously, I knew when it came to my turn, that is what everyone would be thinking. As the teacher went around the room, I couldn’t wait for her to get to me. When it was finally my turn, I proclaimed that my nickname was “Awesome Vic!” She immediately reminded me of the rules that the nickname had to rhyme with my actual name. I said to her “What’s more important about a nickname; that it rhymes, or that it is true?” Several of the kids laughed and she cracked a smile and accepted my nickname.

Again, I am not able to explain why my brain works like this and others don’t. However, I want to encourage other people to be more like me. Some are rolling their eyes right now and thinking “Yeah, right. Why would I want to be an arrogant show off?” Well, if you go through bouts of depression a lot, and always seem to be “down” then I would say I am much happier than you. If you don’t go through depression or times of being down, than this won’t apply to you, and you may continue to judge me. J And I am not saying that you have to be like me and proclaim how good looking and funny you are. Focus on other things that you are good at. I know someone that goes through depression that is incredible at baking pastries, cakes, and fancy cookies. This person looks like a professional pastry chef. But I never see them post pictures on facebook. They have an amazing talent that they never seem to share with the world. I know another person that is depressed, very regularly but this person is an amazing artist and writer. Again, they draw and write at a professional level (in my opinion) and I have never seen a single post, sharing their amazing talents. What about you? What are you good at? How about instead of posting how bad your life is, or talking about how rough your childhood was, you share what skills and talents you have with the world? I think people would prefer that, to the regular postings of depression, life not being fair, and how miserable you are. Just a thought.

Now, figure out what you are really good at. If you think you are not good at anything, then you just haven’t tried enough new things. Nobody ever realized they were good at anything until they attempted it.

But most importantly, realize that you are an amazing person, that has a lot of positive things to contribute to society. Then share that with the world.     

POOP!!!!

So I spent about 15 minutes trying to come up with a catchy title for this article and all I could come up with was “POOP.” Since that is what we really need to talk about it seemed a fitting title. Our poop is a very important  indication of the health of our digestive system as well as the rest of our bodies. Nobody likes to talk about POOP, I know. However, if you have been with us at ELITE long enough, you know we talk about POOP a lot.

The chart above gives you some examples of “bad” poops and “good” poops.  The list below explains why our poops look they way they do according to the chart. For more information, ask your favorite trainer. Yeah, right. Like someone would really come up to a trainer and say “Can I talk to you about my poop?” Seriously though, watching your poop is a good way to know what’s going on in your body. Take the picture above and hang it up in your kids bathroom so they can be aware and healthy.

1. Black and “Tarry” Poops– These poops look very dark and almost like tar. They are a result of too many  toxins in your body. These toxins come from foods but also from household cleaners, aluminum cookware, microwave ovens, furniture polish, tobacco smoke, laundry detergents, synthetic carpet, mothballs, dryer sheets, and several other common household items. You want to buy as many “organic” or “natural” cleaners as possible. You can find safer alternatives at stores like Trader Joes and Whole Foods. Fred Meyer has a great organic section as well. Before you tell me it is too expensive consider the average American spends $150 a month on fast food and eating out. This is your health.

2. Fatty Poops– These poops can come from too much grease and fat in the diet. This can also occur if you are   gluten intolerant or have a hard time digesting fats.

3. Pile of mush Poops– This is just what it says. A pile of mush in the toilet bowl. This is commonly found in “bodybuilder” type athletes that are taking in too much protein or too much of a liquid diet.

4. Rabbit Poops– This poop looks like little balls of poop pressed together, like rabbit poops. It can come from dehydration and/or too many processed foods.

5. “Diahrella”– Diarrhea is caused by many things that include food allergies, a virus, or eating foods that upset your digestive system. It’s common for a healthy adult to have diarrhea 2-3 times a year. More than that would suggest you might have some digestion issues.

6. Food Poops– This is when you see pieces of undigested food in your poops. This can occur if your hydrochloric acid levels are low or if you are not chewing your food enough. Remember you should drink your food and chew your drink. Always chew food until it is almost liquefied and every time you take a drink, chomp like you are chewing .

7. The poopy police– This is the ideal poop. You want a 6-8 inch “brown banana” in the toilet. This is the sign of a healthy digestive system. Get a copy of this article and hang it up at home. Your friends will love it!!!

Have you had an identity crisis!?!?!?!?

I have a client named Suzy Schniffleheizer. Suzy started training with me and 4 months later she went from 252 pounds to 256 pounds. No progress. After a tough discussion, she got on track and began seeing results. To get the details of that tough discussion read my article entitled “Forget how you feel, what can you prove?” Anyway, after about 10 weeks and 26 pounds lost, Suzy looked up at me and said “Will I lose all my strength as I lose weight? Because I don’t want to be a skinny weak girl.” My response was “That’s a bunch of bull crap!”

In the 7 months we had been training together, Suzy had never once mentioned a goal of being strong. It never once came up. I identified to her that she had created an identity for herself that was the “Big girl.” I recalled her refer to herself as the “big girl” and would do so in a positive light that suggested that she a big and strong girl. The problem with this “identity” was that it was a crutch that was holding her back. I saw this condition in one of my trainers who was a big guy at about 24% body fat. He always identified himself as the “big football” type guy. This allowed him to justify his excessive body weight and feel ok with it. Even though, he explained to me on several occasions he wanted to be smaller.

Suzy asked me why should create that identity for herself and I said “Simple, if you create that identity for yourself, you can convince people that you are happy with the person you are. If you are happy with the person you are, they have no reason to judge you for being overweight and out of shape. It is a defense mechanism.”

It wasn't until she "killed" her big, strong
 identity, that Suzy was able to break free
 and be phenomenal.

I explained to Suzy that her identity crisis was making her fail. You see, she had told me that in the  past she would do good for a couple of days or have a good workout and reward herself with some pizza or beer.  Her identity allowed herself to do those things because a “big, strong, power lifter” girl would eat pizza and drink beer as a reward. She stopped and thought for a moment and then proclaimed, “Wow, you are totally right. But what do I do? How do I lose that identity?” I told her will have to have a funeral.  We were going to have to “KILL” the big, strong, power lifter girl. We would have to kill her so Suzy’s real desired identity, which was “150 pound, skinny Suzy” could have a chance at survival. So we did just that. I went home and made a headstone. We went out back behind the gym and had a funeral.

Have you created an identity for yourself that is sabotaging your success? If you have, you need to kill it and create a new identity for yourself that is conducive to what you want. Suzy had to kill her “big, strong, power lifter” girl identity because that identity was too accepting of bad behaviors and bad decisions. “Big, strong, power lifter” girl was more than willing to eat pizza and drink beer because it supported her, but to “150 pound, skinny” Suzy, eating pizza and drinking beer as a reward was not acceptable. Pizza and beer as a reward is not possible in the world of “150 pound, skinny” Suzy. “150 pound, skinny” Suzy needed to be disciplined because “150 pound, skinny” Suzy was more interested in buying smaller clothes than the short term gratification some beer and pizza brought. 

Do you need a new identity?

Forget how you feel, what can you prove?

In the movie “Training Day,” Denzel Washington says to Ethan Hawke “It's not what you know, it's what you can prove." Those words are all too true when it comes to fitness success. The following is actual dialogue that occurred between a client and me, recently. It also explains why some people love me and some people hate me. After getting on the scale and seeing almost no progress after the 3^rd month, I could tell she was discouraged and frustrated. The heavy sigh and stooped shoulders left nothing to the imagination. We walked away from the scale and to the juice bar tables when the “talk” began.

Me: So, when are you going to quit and just give this up?

Client: What do you mean?

Me: You haven’t gotten any significant results and we have been going at this for over 3 months. People will usually quit if they don’t at least see something.

Client: Well, I didn’t plan on quitting but I had thought about when you were going to give up on me.

Me: Are you ready to get to the next level and start seeing results?

Client: Yes

Me: It is going to require you being very uncomfortable. Are you still ready?

Client: Yes

Me: You are not getting results for one reason.

Client: What is that?

Me: You have entitlement issues.

Client: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

Me: I warned you that this would get uncomfortable. I am not trying to be mean, but that is what you need to hear. Each week, you tell me that you think your nutrition is fine and that you exercise quite a bit. However, at the end of each week, the scale says you stay the same. How many calories a day do you eat?

Client: I don’t know. Around 1800 I would say.

Me: I weigh 200 pounds. When I want to lose weight I drop my calories to 1700 calories per day and can lose about 2-3 pounds in a week. You weigh 255 pounds. If I can lose 2-3 pounds a week on 1700 calories, you should be losing 3-4 pounds every week on 1800 calories.

Client: So how does that make me entitled?

Me: You think you’re doing “good enough.” You refuse to allow yourself to be a little hungry. You refuse to stop using food as a coping mechanism when you get upset. You do a couple things right each week and expect them to negate the 20 other things you do that are bad. That’s entitlement. I know it is frustrating but instead of getting upset and frustrated, let’s get focused. Stop “thinking” that you are doing well enough and focus on the facts. You saying that you did “pretty good” on your nutrition and that you did “quite a bit” of exercise are NOT a fact. It is your opinion. In fact, many other people might look at your nutrition and exercise and think it is a joke. You can’t prove your nutrition or your exercise exertion in a court of law, to a jury of your peers. What can be proven, however, is that the scale didn’t go down; again. Let’s focus on that. Just think about it, will you? Maybe you’re not doing as good, as you think? Maybe you can put a little more effort into something. Maybe “doing your best” is not going to cut it this time.

A lot of people would have never come back for another session with me. Fortunately, this client knew that I had her best intentions in mind. In fact, before we were finished, she was really thinking about what I said. As human beings, we are the only animals on the planet with an ego. What that typically means is that we will overhype the things we do well and under report the things we do poorly. It was usually “better” to us than other people remember and “not that big of a deal” other times. If you are honest with yourself you will agree with me and understand how people can sabotage themselves out of a good fitness program. Our story didn’t end there. I went on to give my client some reasons that people struggle with weight loss in spite of their feelings of doing well. They are as follows:

1.       Food allergy or intolerance- Over 60% of white skinned people and 40% of dark skinned people are allergic or intolerant to gluten, dairy, soy, or any combination of them. Even if you are not allergic, and only intolerant, it can wreak havoc on your digestive system and ability to maintain an ideal weight. When we eat foods that are highly inflammatory the digestive system becomes inflamed. Specifically your villi get inflamed and shrivel up. Intestinal villi are tiny finger-like outgrowths, in the lining of the small intestine. Villi effectively increase the surface area of the gut wall allowing for slower movement through the small intestine thus allowing greater time for absorption of nutrients. It allows your small intestines to absorb a greater amount of nutrients that pass through your small intestine. When the villi are shriveled up, they do not absorb nutrients as well. This is important to realize because you don’t have a little man in your body that keeps track of the calories that you eat. That is why we can consume very large amounts of calories and just keep eating; we will just store them for later. What we do have, is a little man that is responsible for keeping track of how much nutrients we are getting from our foods. Read my article called “6 Turkey Sandwiches” to learn more about this little guy (the appestat). This little guy tracks your nutrient absorption and if you don’t get enough nutrients, he will prevent you from secreting CCK, which tells you that you are satisfied and can stop eating. When we eat foods that are highly inflammatory to our villi, they cause us to literally keep eating, so we can satisfy our body’s requirements for nutrients. Regardless of how many calories it takes. I have had incredible success with my clients who were willing to give up all gluten, dairy, and soy for 30 days just to see if they had any intolerance. And guess what? So far, every single client I have had do this has learned, they were in fact, intolerant to at least one of the those three foods.

2.       It is virtually impossible to accurately track calories. We all know the old rule of “calories in vs. calories out” is the key to weight loss. Although true, it is not as easy as it sounds. Let me explain. Let’s say a food company wants to make a food bar that is 300 calories. The way the food labeling laws are written, it is stated that a food must contain “at least” the amount of calories on the label. Did you catch that? “At least” the amount of calories on the label. Why would they do this to us? Do they want us to be fat? Not necessarily. Put yourself in the food companies place for a minute. You know that you make a million food bars per week. You also know that it is impossible to make identical food bars every single time. Some might have a little more sugar than others, or flour, or nuts, etc.. You also know that if a single bar ever comes out that is 290 calories, then you could be fined severely and even shut down for a time. You also know that all your food bars are around 300 calories, give or take about 50 calories either way. SO!!! To prevent the govt from accusing of ripping off the consumer, you set your food bar machines to make food bars at 360 calories. Knowing that some bars will be 310 calories and some will be 410 calories, you just adjust your price to absorb the cost. But now you are protected from fines and govt regulation. So if you eat food from a package, go ahead and add 20%-50% of what the package says and you will be more accurate. The trick is when do you add 20% and when do you add 50%?

So how do you overcome this nightmare?  

By realizing that although you may not be accurate, you are most likely consistent. If a person is inaccurate in their calorie counting either because of their own flaws, or because the food label laws suck, they will at least eat the same types of food on a regular basis. Most people only eat 2-3 types of sandwiches, cereals, salads, etc. Most people are not into variety when it comes to food. They have about 20-30 things they enjoy and eat most of the time. That being said, if they are wrong about the calories in a sandwich they make, it will usually be wrong the same amount of calories each time. Continue to “track” your calories but realize it is impossible to know exactly how many calories you “eat.” Let’s say for example you write down that you ate 1400 calories a day. Understand that due to inaccurate labels and maybe your forgetfulness, you actually ate 2000 calories. These are just an example, so don’t get all “butt hurt.” Just reduce your calories by about 200 calories until you lose weight. Even though you are tracking that you only ate 800 calories, chances are, you ate more. You may be hungry but realize this is more psychological than physiological. People have survived for 4 weeks with NO food. You will not die, I promise. Of course, there are other factors to take into account and things you can do to reduce the hunger, but this is an article, not a book so you will have to act on what I have given you and ask for help for the rest.

NO EXCUSES.......................EVER!!!!!!

This is an article I wrote almost two years ago and it still rings true today. You can find this article in the "articles" section of the gyms website at http://www.elitefiteducate.org/.

“I am a single parent.”                                                                                                                                                         “I have an unsupportive spouse.”                                                                                                                                                  “I work too much.”                                                                                                                                                                   “My kids have such and such activity.”                                                                                                                                                        "I'm too tired."
"I've got a bad back/shoulder/knee/ankle."
"I'm not a morning person."                                                                                                                              “The weekends are my day off.”
"I'm not athletic."
"I don't have enough time."
"I don't know where to begin."                                                                                                                                “ My kids have to come first, I can’t justify spending the time on myself when my kids need me”     “It’s not convenient”                                                                                                                                         "It's just too hard.” If only I had the right training."
"I'll do it tomorrow..."
"I'm too old."
"It's useless -- my genetics are working against me." “I just have a slow metabolism.”

If you have ever said any of the above excuses then please continue reading. If you have some other one’s please email me them so I can add them to the list. The problem with excuses is that although sometimes they are very valid, they will put us in what is called a “victim” mentality and prevent us from accomplishing the task at hand. In order to help you overcome this I want to teach you about a concept called Accountability. We are all familiar with the term “Accountability” but I want to possibly give you a new understanding of the word. Webster’s Dictionary defines accountability as having to answer to, justify, or explain oneself. I do not like that definition at all because it focuses on the past. Once you have reached the point of having to answer to, justify, or explain yourself, it is too late. Whatever happened has happened and we cannot do anything about it. I prefer to look at accountability as something I put on myself, rather than let someone else hold me accountable. Here is what I mean. True accountability has four parts.

1.      See it- You have to see the problem for what it is and recognize that it is in fact, a problem. The second part of this step is to also see how you might be part of the problem. This takes a lot of courage to do. Not only do you have to realize that there is in fact a problem, you also have to accept the fact, that you may be part of it. This is always true when it comes to weight loss. I am here to state that there is no “Fat gene” that makes us overweight. It is not bad genetics; it is not because your parents are overweight. If you are not happy with the way you look and feel, you have no one to look at except yourself. That is very good news. It means that if you want to change, you just have to make that choice.

2.      Own it- You have to take ownership of the problem. It has to be yours and yours alone. If you take ownership in a problem then it makes it difficult for you to come up with excuses. Think of yourself as a business owner. Business owners know that they have to overcome multiple challenges because at the end of the day, if the money does not come, they do not pay bills. You have to take the frame of mind that no matter what happens you will find a way to overcome the challenge and not allow the challenge to make you a victim. I know from time to time, that stuff just happens. I also know about 200 people that had stuff happen to them but they were able to find a way to overcome “the stuff” and find a way to be successful. This will only happen if you take ownership in your problem and decide that “If it’s got to be, then it’s up to me.” That quote was taken from John Maxwell who is a very inspirational writer and one of my mentors in life.

3.      Solve it- You will rarely succeed in anything in life without a clearly defined plan. This step has two parts just like the first one. The first part of this step is that you must possess the wisdom to solve your problem. The second part is having the wisdom to realize when you need help. If you do not know how to calculate your calories for the day then get help. If you do not know core stabilizing training techniques then please get help so you do not injure yourself. If you cannot tell the difference between the $3 multivitamin and the $30 bottle then please get help so you do not waste your money. At ELITE Fitness and Education we are committed to offering educational seminars, articles, and all levels of personal training to make sure you can succeed. We have programs that range from $70 a session to free. Make sure you at least know and understand all the programs we have to offer.

4.      Do it- This is easily the most overlooked step out of all of them. I have seen so many people do everything they need to do to change their life and then stop because they just can’t get out of bed an hour early. It does not matter if you have the most scientifically designed exercise regiment if you never use it. How many diet books do you have at home on the book shelf? How about diet pills in the pantry? How about exercise equipment in the closet? This is where the true accountability takes place. I want to share a story from one of my friends named Lori who hikes Pilot Butte with us on Saturdays with the “Kick the Butte” club. Lori was not at the hike this last Saturday and I sent her an email asking why she couldn’t make it. She replied that she had a wedding to be at so she hiked up the butte on her own on Friday. That is exactly what I am talking about! Lori could have easily justified to herself why she could not make it on Saturday and she would have been completely in the right. Instead, she recognized that she had a problem that she wanted to overcome. She took ownership in the fact that if she wanted to change her life, she could not let something like a wedding keep her from it. Then she solved the problem by setting aside time on another day to do the hike. Finally she took action and completed the hike, on a different day.

Hopefully by now you are seeing accountability in a different way. Things happen to everyone every day. Even though these things will happen and we cannot control them, we can control how we respond to them. We cannot choose the circumstances that will occur in our life but we can control whether we allow our circumstances to turn us into a victim or if we choose to rise above our circumstances and find a way to achieve whatever we started out for. At the beginning of this article I gave you the dictionary definition of accountability. Now I would like to offer a new definition of accountability. From now on I want you to see accountability as a personal choice to rise above one’s circumstances and demonstrate the ownership necessary for achieving the desired results- to see it, own, solve it, and do it.

Let us know how we can help you. God Bless you and your family and we will see you on the wall of fame.

Victor Brawner

For the boys who want to date my daughter!

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME__________________  DATE OF BIRTH_________ HEIGHT_________

WEIGHT_______  IQ_____  GPA_______SOCIAL SECURITY #___________

DRIVERS LICENSE #_____________BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES______________

HOME ADDRESS_________________  CITY/STATE___________  ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes  ___No 

Is one male and the other female? ___Yes  ___No

If No, explain:____________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married: _________________________________

If less than your age, explain: __________________________________________ 

Matching Section

I believe knowledge is a very important thing for a young man to have, especially when one is interested in dating my daughter. By drawing a line, please match the weapons on the left to the appropriate amount of damage they can do to a human body, on the right. It would be in your best interest to know these answers and NEVER, ever forget them.

1) .357 Magnum                                        a. The ability to smack the daylights out of punk kids

                                                                        while leaving minimal evidence.

2) 9 mm handgun                                      b. can put a 12 inch hole in your chest.

3) Shotgun                                                 c. can take your shoulder off at 15 feet

4) 1 inch steel pipe I keep                        d. can put 15 rounds in your body in about 10 seconds        in my closet.

5) My bare hands                                     e. can break every bone in your body

Multiple Choice Section

1. What are the acceptable ways that you may address me? (Circle all that apply)               

A. Mr. Brawner          B. Sir            C. Dude           D. No words but quickly jerking your head in an upward motion as if to say “What’s up?”

2. Animals can only find a human body if it is within 12 inches of the surface of the ground. Guess how long it takes me to dig a grave that is 13 inches deep and your height.

A. 1 day              B. 20 minutes    C. It doesn’t matter Sir, because it will never come to that.

3. Let’s pretend that one day my daughter loses her mind and suggests that you two should kiss, “make out,” or engage in any other act beyond holding hands. Your response will be:

A. Yes                    B. Cool                         C. Out of a deep rooted respect for your fathers’ ability and willingness to emasculate me, I will have to decline. However, I would very much like to “court” you as a proper gentleman after your father has given me permission.

Some facts about me that you may find helpful

1. On more than one occasion I have been in a situation where I was forced to take another persons life. I am very comfortable in this situation.

2. I have detailed knowledge of the human body that includes pressure points, major blood vessels, major airways, and pretty much anything necessary to hurt you.

3. I love my daughter more than my freedom. In addition, I am so arrogant I honestly believe I can make you disappear and completely get away with it. 

4. I have extensive knowledge of several “back roads, abandoned highways, cabins, etc...” and other places in the deserts of central Oregon that would prohibit anyone within 20 miles from hearing your screams.

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van?                 __Yes  __No                

B. A waterbed?                                                         __Yes  __No

                                 

C. A truck with oversized tires?                                __Yes  __No                                     

D. A tattoo?                                                              __Yes  __No  

                               

E. A pickup with a mattress in the back?                __Yes  __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring,                      __Yes  __No

pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.  I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?______________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? ________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, describe YOUR INTENTIONS with my daughter.

 _________________________________________________________________________________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:  Answer by filling in the blank. 

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:__________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:_________________

C: A woman's place is in the:___________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: __________________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? _______________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: __________________________________________________________________

G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND ANYTHING ELSE MR. BRAWNER COMES UP WITH.

______________________________________________________________________________

Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

__________________________________              ________________________________

Mother's Signature                                                   Father's Signature

__________________________________             _________________________________

Pastor/Priest/Rabbi                                                  State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

Thank you for applying,

Mr. Brawner

The secret to my success in marriage after 17 years

Let me start this by saying, in no way, am I attempting to persuade anyone in their religious beliefs or convictions. In sharing my testimony I am only giving you a glimpse into why I do some of the things I do. Again, please do not take this as me being “preachy” or “churchy.” This is just me sharing who I am. I teach several seminars and am constantly making references to books I have read in the past. So far, the best book I have ever read about how a husband should love his wife, is in the Bible. Regardless of your own beliefs you can learn a lot of good lessons from that book. If religion is offensive to you at all, then please close this page and read another article. Otherwise, maybe you can learn something from my mistakes.

I almost lost my wife once. She had been hurting for a very long time. I was a pretty insensitive husband who was more interested in being successful at work than at home. Don’t get me wrong, I was not a bad guy. I never hit my wife, or swore at her; I never even raised my voice to her. Despite never treating her badly, I was hurting her every day. Every day I put my job first, I broke her heart a little more. Every day I chose to work on a day off, I pushed her further away. Now she understood that my work was very important to me and when she married me, she knew I was ambitious and driven. These things weren’t the problem. She understood that in my line of work sometimes it meant working long days and sometimes long weeks. These things weren’t the problem. The problems arose when I didn’t have to work long days and weeks, but chose to anyway. The problems arose when I would come home from a long day of work and then go to the computer to study sales sheets, stats, and flyers. The problems were when, I was on track to hit my goals, but was not content with that. No, if I was able to hit 100%, then I could hit 110% or even 120%.

After 8 years of growing depression and feeling neglected my wife decided I could not change, nor could I make her happy again. When she first confronted me I didn’t take her seriously, in fact, I was angry because she was not grateful for my sacrifice. I mean, I always worked hard so she didn’t have to. Most of our marriage she was a stay at home mom, and I felt I deserved a little respect for being the provider of the family. When I finally realized she was serious, it was too late. I became desperate, and like all Christians, I turned to God. However, my prayers sounded like this “Oh Lord, please change Jenises heart so she can see what a mistake she is making.” Sometimes I would pray; “Lord, please help Jenise to see how she is hurting the children.” I was praying alright, but I was not praying the right way or with the right heart. As I read the book “How to be a praying husband,” it talked about praying to change “my” heart so that I can be the man my wife needs me to be. That was a new concept for me because it suggested that perhaps my wife was not necessarily wrong and maybe I was not necessarily right. In fact, a good friend once suggested that I quit worrying about which one of us was right and just worry about doing what I needed to fix the situation. In fact his exact words were “Victor, I completely agree with you and how you feel. You are absolutely right in this matter; and you’re going to be right, all the way to divorce court.” Then he asked me “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married, because I doubt you will be both.” At first, I was not ready to start praying for my change because of my pride. God actually took care of that in a hurry, which could be a whole testimony in itself. Once my pride was a little more in check I began to ask God to become the man that Jenise had dreamed about marrying. Slowly but surely, God began to reveal to me, some very misguided thoughts I had on how things should be.

This was my junior, her senior prom.
1992

The first place I found myself, was in the book of Ephesians. In the 25th verse of the 5th chapter husbands are instructed to love our wives Christ loved the church. I was already familiar with the verse as many other husbands and I had discussed that it meant if the time came, we had to be willing to die for our wives. Except now, I had been given a new meaning for the verse. Christ did more than just die for us; He sacrificed everything he wanted to do for himself. He sacrificed His goals, His dreams, and any future plans He might have had of raising a family or being a carpenter like His father, Joseph. He gave up His own personal comfort and He gave up what HE wanted to do. That was very big for me. Men, how many of you have goals for yourself or maybe even your family that are tearing your family apart or at least putting a strain on your relationships. Husbands, I want to challenge you to see if you would be willing to give up your hopes and dreams for your wife’s happiness, or do you constantly sacrifice your wife happiness for your dreams and goals? Now, I am not talking about making an ultimate sacrifice. I used to tell my wife all the time that if she wanted me to I would quit my job for her, and we could live in a shack and not provide for our family. Of course, I always hoped to God she would never ask me to do it, because I don’t think I could have. Throwing in the guilt trip of providing for the family would usually end the discussion. That was just my lame way of making her think I was putting her above my work. But I realized, it is not about the big things and the big sacrifices. It is in the little things that we show our wives we love them. Our work gets us for 5 days a week. Our family only gets 2 days. How can your family be more important than work, when you cannot even manage to give them 2 days a week? Now husbands, I understand there are circumstances when extra time is required of you, and I can assure you, our wives understand this too. But when it becomes routine to work long days and weeks, they really miss us a lot. I understand bills need to be paid and we all want nice things, but do not ever work at a job that requires you to neglect your family. Oh, and you do not get to decide what is neglect, they do. There are thousands of jobs out there and when push comes to shove, you can always get another job, people do it every day. But you can never replace the family that you have now. Do not ever put less effort into your marriage because you think your wife will always be around for you. So now, I understood that if I was going to love my wife the way Christ loved the Church that meant I needed to be willing to sacrifice more than just my life if the situation came up. I needed to be willing to sacrifice for her, everyday.

But God wasn’t done with me yet. You see, not only did Jesus sacrifice for us, but he did it, at a time when we did not deserve it. That brought up some questions for me so asked God, “Does this mean that if my wife doesn’t want me to do something, that I shouldn’t do it?” Well what if she is being unreasonable or unfair? Then could I justify not sacrificing what I wanted to do, to make her happy? What about my happiness and what I want. Then an interesting thought popped into my head. What if I took the first step in being unselfish? What if my wife saw me making an effort to put her needs and wants above my own? I wonder if it might make her maybe sacrifice foe me once in awhile? If you only could have known me back then, you would know what a foreign concept that was to me. But then I thought to myself “Sometimes, I really don’t think Jenise deserves to have me sacrifice the things I want.” I can’t tell you how fast that thought was replaced with “Good thing Jesus didn’t feel that way.” I think that thought, jumped in my head before the first one was even done.

So now I realized that not only did I need to sacrifice for my wife but sometimes I needed to do it when she didn’t deserve it. That is because I feel that I must love my wife more than myself and how can I say that when I always put my needs ahead of hers? At this point I thought I had the verse figured out. Then I realized that not only did Christ sacrifice for us at a time when we didn’t deserve it, but he also did it at a time when we didn’t ask him to. Oh man, that was huge for me. Husbands, how many times have you asked your wife to do something and she said “yes.” You knew in your heart that she didn’t want you to do it but you justified it by saying “Well if she didn’t want me to do it, she should have said no.” Aren’t you glad Jesus didn’t have that type of attitude? He saw our need and he did what he knew, needed to be done. He even did it in spite of everyone telling him not too. He was able to look past what we said we wanted to realize what we really needed. Husbands, when you wife tells you it is ok, to do something and you know she doesn’t want you to do it; you need to not do it. Even if she says she is ok with it. That would be one way to show your wife how much she means to you and how much you love her.

How many of you have wives, that if they saw you making these sacrifices for them on a regular basis, would not in turn, do the same for you? I doubt any of you have that type of wife. My hope is this; Husbands do not blow this off and assume it doesn’t apply to you. Do not ever assume that you know exactly how your wife feels. Instead, take this to her and let her read it. Ask her if you are loving her as it is described in these pages. When you married your wife, you made a promise to her that you would love her. Don’t make those just empty words that everyone says. Make it your daily ambition to fulfill those words to her every day, and watch the love and sacrifice you will get in return. Our God has given us very specific instructions on how we are to love. If you want to be a man of God then you must love your wife the way He has very plainly laid it out for us. I have known the fear of knowing that I was going to lose a job, but I can tell you, it does not even compare to the feeling of knowing that I was going to lose my family.

I originally wrote this about 4 years ago and to give you an update, I think I work just as much now as I did then. I might even work more, now that we run a family business. The difference is, I have worked very hard to create an environment where I can work hard and still be a huge part of my family. In being blessed with ELITE Fitness, Jenise can work with me so even though I am working long hours, she is right there with me. We work together 6 days a week and we love every minute of it. So much so, that on the rare occasion I have to work out of town, we miss each other like crazy after the first day. Our kids get dropped off at the gym, not at home. They do their homework at the gym and then they help out. My kids clean the gym and check people in. Most of the members know my kids and love seeing them. My kids know how to work and know the value of a dollar. What's made the biggest difference is that I work "only when I have to" and Jenise knows it. I take time off to spend with the family when I can. Sometimes I have to work alot and sometimes I can get away with an extra day off. The fact that I take those days when I can makes all the difference in the world to Jenise.

My friends at ELITE Fitness and Education

Running a gym and a business is always something I dreamed about since I can remember. There were several aspects of this business I had anticipated but the one thing I didn't realize is how many friends I would have. In the short time we have been here, Jenise and I have been blessed with some of the coolest people in our lives and I want to share some of the neat experiences we have had.

For Jenise's birthday last year I got her a cruise. It was a big deal and you can watch the video on my facebook page. (www.facebook.com/vbrawner) We had over 50 people in our house and all of them were members from the gym. It was alot of fun. This last two weeks we decided to move back into town and 3 families from the gym came to our house to help us move. The Bernardies, the Tapps, and the Morrells were awesome and we really appreciated it. This last weekend we had to tow Billy's car from the old house to the new house and get our ride on lawn mower but we didn't have a trailer. Karina and her husband Lorin not only let us use their truck and trailer, but followed behind us as we towed the 1978 camaro across town. The best part was when the strap broke and Karina and Myself got to push the camaro out of the intersection.

One of my training clients, Adam Brooks, invited me to go hunting with him this year. Now, I have to make a point to let you know Adam is like Mr. Hunter extraordinaire. He is the best and everyone knows it. He gets people asking him to take them hunting because they know he is so good and will never come back empty handed. It means alot to me that he would be willing to take a scrub like me hunting, knowing I have no experience and will most likely slow him down.

Today when I came to work, Jenise brought me to the kids club where one of our boot camp students, Teresa,  had purchased an entertainment center and brought it in for the kids club. She noticed it while garage selling this weekend and thought we could use it.

Our friends at the gym have gone camping with us, helped us at church events, helped us move, helped us take care of the gym, and so much more. We have a member, Tara, that owns a cleaning business. One time I saw her cleaning the drinking fountain. When I asked what she was doing she said "Someone spit in it and it was gross." She went back in the storage closet, got cleaner and gloves, and was cleaning away. Awesome.

Another member, Stephanie, owns a sign company and went through our very first boot camp here at ELITE. I decided to get my Durango wrapped but the cost was going to be almost $3000 dollars. Not only did she allow me to make payments but she started the job before I had even paid for half of it.

One of our members. Tiffany Gurnsey, is an avid horse lover and very passionate about horses. She has taken my wife and daughter horse back riding which was a dream come true for them because they both love horses. Again, the friends we have made are awesome.

I felt compelled to write this today as I was thinking about blessed we have been in our family and at ELITE. The economy has made it difficult for a start up gym to make it in Bend for two years. The friends we made have made it all worth it.

If I have forgotten anyone please do not think we don't appreciate what you have done for us. We love all of our members and did not expect to have so many friends with our business. Thank you all for making this business a blessing to our family. Thank you for loving my wife and my children and for making this move to Bend, a really, really good idea.

We look forward to making more friends, helping more people, and continuing to live out our dream with our friends.

Victor and Jenise

20 Worst Drinks in America 2010

None of this will come to a shock to most of us. In fact, I think everybody reading this will already be aware of how much sugar is in this stuff but the visuals really pack a punch. Enjoy this and share it with others.

20. Worst Water

Snapple Agave Melon Antioxidant Water (1 bottle, 20 fl oz)

150 calories

0 g fat

33 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 2 Good Humor Chocolate Éclair Bars

While “Worst Water” may sound like an oxymoron, the devious

minds in the bottled beverage industry have even found a way to

besmirch the sterling reputation of the world’s most essential

compound. Sure, you may get a few extra vitamins, but ultimately,

you’re paying a premium price for gussied-up sugar water. Next

time you buy a bottle of water, check the recipe: You want two parts

hydrogen, one part oxygen, and very little else.

19. Worst Bottled Tea

SoBe Green Tea (1 bottle, 20 fl oz)

240 calories

0 g fat

61 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 4 slices Sara Lee Cherry Pie

Leave it to SoBe to take an otherwise healthy bottle of tea and

inject it with enough sugar to turn it into dessert. The Pepsi owned

company’s flagship line, composed of 11 flavors with

names like “Nirvana” and “Cranberry Grapefruit Elixir,” is

marketed to give consumers the impression that it can cleanse

the body, mind, and spirit. Don’t be fooled. Just like this bottle of

green tea, all of these beverages are made with two primary

ingredients: water and sugar.

18. Worst Energy Drink

Rockstar Energy Drink (1 can, 16 fl oz)

280 calories

0 g fat

62 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 6 Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Doughnuts

None of the energy provided by these full-sugar drinks could ever

justify the caloric load, but Rockstar’s take is especially frightening.

One can provides nearly as much sugar as half a box of Nilla

Wafers. In fact, it has 60 more calories than the same amount of

Red Bull and 80 more than a can of Monster. If you’re going to

guzzle, better choose one of the low-cal options. We like Monster;

it offers all the caffeine and B vitamins with just enough sugar to

cut through the funky extracts.

17. Worst Bottled Coffee

Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccino (1 bottle, 13.7 fl oz)

290 calories

4.5 g fat (2.5 g saturated)

45 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 32 Nilla Wafers

With an unreasonable number of calorie landmines

peppered across Starbucks’ in-store menu, you’d think the

company would want to use its grocery line to restore faith in

its ability to provide caffeine without testing the limits of your

belt buckle. Guess not. This drink has been on our radar for

years, and we still haven’t managed to find a bottled coffee

with more sugar. Consider this—along with Starbucks’

miniature Espresso and Cream Doubleshot—your worst

option for a morning pickup.

16. Worst Soda

Sunkist (1 bottle, 20 fl oz)

320 calories

0 g fat

84 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 6 Breyers Oreo Ice Cream Sandwiches

Wait . . . but aren’t all sodas equally terrible? It’s true they all

earn 100 percent of their calories from sugar, but that doesn’t

mean there aren’t still varying levels of atrocity. Despite the

perception of healthfulness, fruity sodas tend to carry more sugar

than their cola counterparts, and none make that more apparent

than the tooth-achingly sweet Sunkist. But what seals the orange

soda’s fate on our list of worsts is its reliance on the artificial

colors yellow 6 and red 40—two chemicals that may be linked to

behavioral and concentration problems in children.

15. Worst Beer

Sierra Nevada Bigfoot (1 bottle, 12 fl oz)

330 calories

0 g fat

32.1 g carbohydrates

9.6% alcohol

Carbohydrate Equivalent: 12-pack of Michelob Ultra

Most beers carry fewer than 175 calories, but even your average

extra-heady brew rarely eclipses 250. That makes Sierra’s Bigfoot

the undisputed beast of the beer jungle. Granted, the alcohol itself

provides most of the calories, but it’s the extra heft of carbohydrates

that helps stuff nearly 2,000 calories into each six-pack. For

comparison, Budweiser has 10.6 grams of carbs, Blue Moon has 13,

and Guinness Draught has 10. Let’s hope the appearance of this gut inducing

guzzler in your fridge is as rare as encounters with the

fabled beast himself.

14. Worst Kids' Drink

Tropicana Tropical Fruit Fury Twister (1 bottle, 20 fl oz)

340 calories

0 g fat

60 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: Two 7-ounce canisters Reddi-wip

Don’t let Tropicana’s reputation for unadulterated OJ lead you to

believe that the company is capable of doing no wrong. As a

Pepsi subsidiary, it’s inevitable that they’ll occasionally delve

into soda-like territory. The Twister line is just that: a drink with

10 percent juice and 90 percent sugar laced with a glut of

artificial flavors and coloring. You could actually save 200

calories by choosing a can of Pepsi instead.

13. Worst Functional Beverage

Arizona Rx Energy (1 can, 23 fl oz)

345 calories

0 g fat

83 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 6 Cinnamon Roll Pop-Tarts

Obviously Arizona took great pains in making sure this can came

out looking like something you’d find in a pharmacy. But if your

pharmacist ever tries to sell you this much sugar, he should have

his license revoked. And if it’s energy you’re after, this isn’t your

best vehicle. Caffeine is the only compound in the bottle that’s

been proven to provide energy, and the amount found within is

about what you'd get from a weak cup of coffee.

12. Worst Juice Imposter

Arizona Kiwi Strawberry (1 can, 23 fl oz)

345 calories

0 g fat

81 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 7 bowls of Froot Loops

The twisted minds at the Arizona factory outdid themselves with

this nefarious concoction, a can the size of a bazooka loaded

with enough of the sweet stuff to blast your belly with 42 sugar

cubes. The most disturbing part isn’t that it masks itself as some

sort of healthy juice product (after all, hundreds of products are

guilty of the same crime), but that this behemoth serving size

costs just $.99, making its contents some of the cheapest

calories we’ve ever stumbled across.

11. Worst Espresso Drink

Starbucks Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha with

Whipped Cream (venti, 20 fl oz)

660 calories

22 g fat (15 g saturated)

95 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 8½ scoops Edy’s Slow Churned Rich

and Creamy Coffee Ice Cream

Hopefully this will dispel any lingering fragments of the

“health halo” that still exists in coffee shops—that misguided

belief that espresso-based beverages can’t do much

damage. In this 20-ounce cup, Starbucks manages to pack

in more calories and saturated fat than two slices of deepdish

sausage and pepperoni pizza from Domino’s. That

makes it the equivalent of dinner and dessert disguised as a

cup of coffee. If you want a treat, look to Starbucks’ supply

of sugar-free syrups; if you want a caffeine buzz, stick to the

regular joe, an Americano, or a cappuccino.

10. Worst Lemonade

Auntie Anne’s Wild Cherry Lemonade Mixer (32 fl oz)

470 calories

0 g fat

110 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 11 bowls of Cookie Crisp cereal

There is no such thing as healthy lemonade, but Auntie’s line of

Lemonade Mixers takes the concept of hyper-sweetened juice and

stretches it to dangerous new levels. See, sugar digests faster

than good-for-you nutrients like protein and fiber, which means it’s

in your blood almost immediately after you swallow it. Drinking the

3 or 4 days’ worth of added sugar found here jacks your blood

sugar and results in strain to your kidneys, the creation of new fat

molecules, and the desire to eat more. Ouch.

9. Worst Hot Chocolate

Starbucks White Hot Chocolate with Whipped Cream

(venti, 20 fl oz)

520 calories

16 g fat (11 g saturated)

75 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 9 Strawberry Rice Krispie Treats

See that stack of Rice Krispie Treats? It’s just three treats shy of

two full boxes. Unless you were a contestant on Fear Factor—

and there was a sizeable monetary prize on the line—you’d

never even consider noshing down that much sugar at once. But

here’s what’s interesting: While that stack is the sugar

counterpart to this atrocity from Starbucks, it still has 40 percent

less saturated fat. Makes us wonder what’s going on in the hot

chocolate. Stick to beverages with single-flavor profiles instead of

pile-on recipes like this and you’ll fare better every time.

8. Worst Frozen Coffee Drink

Dairy Queen Caramel MooLatte (24 fl oz)

870 calories

24 g fat (19 g saturated, 1 g trans)

112 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 12 Dunkin’ Donuts Bavarian Kreme Doughnuts

Coffee-dessert hybrids are among the worst breed of beverages.

This one delivers 1 gram of fat and 4.6 grams of sugar in every

ounce, making even Starbucks’ over-the-top line of Frappuccinos

look like decent options. Maybe that’s why DQ decided to give it a

name that alludes to the animal it promises to turn you into. If you

can bring yourself to skip DQ and head to a coffee shop instead,

order a large iced latte with a couple shots of flavored syrup and

save some 600 calories. But if you’re stuck where you are, you’re

better off pairing a small treat with a regular cup of joe.

7. Worst Margarita

Traditional Red Lobster Lobsterita (24 fl oz)

890 calories

0 g fat

183 g carbohydrates

Carbohydrate Equivalent: 7 Almond Joy candy bars

Of all the egregious beverages we’ve analyzed, the Lobsterita

surprised us the most. The nation’s biggest fish purveyor is one

of the few big players in the restaurant biz to provide its

customers with a wide selection of truly healthy food options. We

would hope they’d do the same with the beverages, but obviously

not. Drink one of these every Friday night and you’ll put on more

than a pound of flab each month. Downgrade to a regular

margarita on the rocks and pocket the remaining 640 calories.

6. Worst Float

Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream Soda (vanilla ice cream and cola)

(large, 28.6 fl oz)

960 calories

40 g fat (25 g saturated, 1.5 g trans)

136 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 9.7 Fudgsicle fudge bars

Done right, an ice cream float can be a decent route to indulgence.

Go to A&W and you’ll land a medium for fewer than 400 calories.

Order it with diet soda and you’ve dropped below 200 calories. So

why can’t Baskin-Robbins make even a small float with fewer than

470 calories? Because apparently the chain approaches the art of

beverage-crafting as a challenge to squeeze in as much fat and sugar

as possible. Whatever you order, plan on splitting it with a friend.

5. Worst Frozen Fruit Drink

Krispy Kreme Lemon Sherbet Chiller (20 fl oz)

980 calories

40 g fat (36 g saturated)

115 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 16 medium-size chocolate eclairs

Imagine taking a regular can of soda, pouring in 18 extra

teaspoons of sugar, and then swirling in half a cup of heavy

cream. Nutritionally speaking, that’s exactly what this is, which is

how it manages to marry nearly 2 days’ worth of saturated fat

with enough sugar to leave you with a serious sucrose hangover.

Do your heart a favor and avoid any of Krispy Kreme’s “Kremey”

beverages. The basic Chillers aren’t the safest of sippables

either, but they’ll save you up to 880 calories.

4. Worst Frozen Mocha

Così Double Oh! Arctic Mocha (gigante, 23 fl oz)

1,210 calories

19 g fat (10 g saturated)

240 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 41 Oreo Cookies

A frozen mocha will never be a stellar option, but we’ve still never

come across anything that competes with this cookie-coffeemilkshake

hybrid from Così. Essentially it’s a mocha Blizzard

made with Oreo cookies and topped with whipped cream and an

oversize Oreo. The result is a beverage with more calories than

two Big Macs and more sugar than any other drink in America.

3. Worst Drive-Thru Shake

McDonald’s Triple Thick Chocolate Shake (large, 32 fl oz)

1,160 calories

27 g fat (16 g saturated, 2 g trans)

168 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 13 McDonald’s Baked Hot Apple Pies

There are very few milk shakes in America worthy of your

hard-earned calories, but few will punish you as thoroughly as

this Mickey D’s drive-thru disaster. Not only does it have more

than half your day’s caloric and saturated fat allotment and

more sugar than you’d find in Willy Wonka’s candy lab, but

Ronald even finds a way to sneak in a full day of cholesterol spiking

trans fat. The scariest part about this drink is that it’s

most likely America’s most popular milk shake.

2. Worst Smoothie

Smoothie King Peanut Power Plus Grape (large, 40 fl oz)

1,498 calories

44 g fat (8 g saturated)

214 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 20 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

If Smoothie King wants someone to blame for landing this high on our

worst beverages roundup (and truth be told, its entire menu is riddled

with contenders), the chain should point the smoothie straw at

whichever executive came up with the cup-sizing structure. Sending

someone out the door with a 40-ounce cup should be a criminal offense.

Who really needs a third of a gallon of sweetened peanut butter blended

with grape juice, milk, and bananas? Sugar-and-fat-loaded smoothies

like this should be served from 12-ounce cups, not mini kegs.

1. Worst Beverage in America

Cold Stone PB&C (Gotta Have It size, 24 fl oz)

2,010 calories

131 g fat (68 g saturated)

153 g sugars

Sugar Equivalent: 30 Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies

In terms of saturated fat, drinking this Cold Stone catastrophe is like

slurping up 68 strips of bacon. Health experts recommend capping

your saturated fat intake at about 20 grams per day, yet this

beverage packs more than three times that into a cup the size of a

Chipotle burrito. But here’s what’s worse: No regular shake at Cold

Stone, no matter what the size, has fewer than 1,000 calories. If

you must drink your ice cream, make it one of the creamery’s

“Sinless” options. Otherwise you’d better plan on buying some

bigger pants on the way home.

Well there you have it folks, the worst drinks you can consume. Although it is not shocking, what is truly unethical to me is how many of these drinks try to pass themselves off as "healthy" or "good for you." Refer to the article on "How the labels lie" for more info.

Victor Brawner

ELITE Fitness and Education

Disclaimer: Do not steal my articles that have been posted on my website for over two years and then put them on your website/blog with a disclaimer that someone will have to pay you $100,000 if they steal your article that you stole from me. It's just dumb. If you want to use my stuff, I don't care. Just make sure you are helping people since that is what this is all supposed to be about. Help people, use my stuff, and stop worrying about getting credit for stuff you didn't do in the first place.