Beware of CRABS!!!
If two crabs are put in a bucket and one attempts to climb out, the other one will pull it back down. Do you have any crabs in your life? I will come back to this point in a moment. In the meantime let’s talk about how much the people around us impact our fitness success. Most people have 3 peer groups in their life. The first one is the immediate family, the second is the work group, and the third is either a church group or group of friends. We typically hang out with people who are like us. We usually have similar lifestyles to others in our immediate family and the church/friend group. We will even hang out with people at work who have similar likes and dislikes. This is all well and good until YOU make a decision to change. When you make the decision to change your peer groups will quite often resist that change because they are afraid you will expect them to make better choices as well. Some of the most unsupportive people I have seen in my 15 years of doing this are spouses. The one person who should be the strongest supporter is often the biggest detractor. If you want to make good changes in your life but your husband wants to hang on to his sugar, it is going to be very difficult for you. Sugar is said to be more addictive than crack. Please forgive my crude analogy but if you are trying to stop taking “crack” but there is “crack” all over the house, it will be tough. Matt knew one lady who was in this situation and she made her husband eat his cookies outside. Not a bad idea. The point is this; if you want to make positive change for your family then take charge of the situation and MAKE THE POSITIVE CHANGE. Do not tell yourself that you don’t want to “DEPRIVE” your children just because you want to change. In toxicology sugar is often classified as a poison. They do not need it and it will be better for them. The other side of the spectrum is the “enabling” spouse. This comes when you begin to experience withdraws from sugar. The symptoms include headaches, irritability, fatigue, and sometimes sleeplessness. These will sometimes last for 3-8 days. The good news is that after you get the “crack” out of your body you will feel so much better. Unfortunately, while you are going through this your husband may attempt to sabotage you without realizing it. He knows that you are unhappy and since he loves you, he wants you to be happy. Well, if cookies make you happy guess what he is going to do to make you happy.
“Honey, you have done very well and I am very proud of you. You “deserve” just one cookie.” NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!! You must stay strong, knock that cookie out of his hand and run away!!!
In regards to the other two peer groups sometimes you have to make tough decisions. Your friends may tell you they are “concerned” because you look like you are wasting away. Keep in mind; these are not the friends that are good shape. They are typically the friends who are out of shape themselves and feel a little uncomfortable with you and all your extra energy and vitality. They will encourage you to come out and go drinking or come to a party and jut “let loose” for a change. Let me make this very clear. These people may be your friends and you may love them but they are not “concerned” for you, they are “envious” of you. DO NOT let them pull you down back in the bucket. If you have friends that are in great shape, eating right, and living a healthy lifestyle they will not tell you they are “concerned” for you. They will congratulate you and then ask if you want to go for a run after work. You may notice after time that you may begin to fall out of rapport with some of your friends. This is especially true of the friends that lead a very destructive life. You have to be strong and do everything you can to pull them out of the hole they are in, but DO NOT let them pull YOU into their hole. Instead you continue to feel good and be happy with your renewed energy and vitality.
So what do you do? You must create a 4th peer group. This will be a group of people you know in any of your other groups that also want to make a change. It might be someone you meet at BOOT CAMP class or at one of our free seminars. It may be someone who is at the gym the same time you are. It just needs to be a group of people of people who are on the same track as you. This is important because PEOPLES LIVES ARE A DIRECT REFLECTION OF THE EXPECTATIONS OF THEIR PEER GROUP! Read that a couple of times until it makes sense. This is a statement that could not be truer. You will rise or fall based on what the people around you are doing. If you hang around people who want to lose weight, eat right, and exercise then you will be more inclined to do likewise.” On the other hand, if you are hanging around people who want to watch T.V., eat ice cream, and complain about how tired and depressed they are; you know the rest of the story.
In summary, a CRAB is a person who, although loves you, will attempt to influence you with negative comments. They will say things like “You don’t look well.” Or “You are just wasting away.” Then there is the concerned family member who may attempt to talk you out of what you are doing because it requires too much commitment. Do not listen to them. Only listen to your friends and family that are in the game with you. Nobody is allowed to sit on the sidelines and offer their advice. By no means do I mean to suggest that you alienate your close friends and divorce your husband because he likes cookies. I am only suggesting that you NOT allow them to pull you into bad decisions. You can stand at the edge and offer your hand to pull them out, just make sure they do not pull you in.
Have fun and enjoy the process,
Victor
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